Monthly Archives: August 2011

Only Funny If It’s Dangerous

The guys in the 101st Airborne liked their jokes dangerous.

In the spring of 1974 I was at the Gramercy Park Hotel attending my first sales conference as a senior editor with a major publisher. I had high hopes for a first novel I’d acquired and I was all kinds of revved. One of the nonfiction titles being presented at the conference — with the help of its handsome blond author — was the story of a former 101st paratrooper – enlisted — who went undercover after Vietnam, infiltrating the campus anti-war movement back home for the FBI. Bringing the author to the conference was unusual: a signal of a big investment and big expectations on the part of the publishing house.

The editor did his introduction and the well spoken author took over. Nothing he said sounded right to me. I tried not to listen, concentrating instead on my own upcoming presentations. I’d had the job less than a year; this was my moment to do it, put over a book I believed in. My jumping on this guy could look awful, hurt the firm’s bottom line, out me to the whole world as a Vietnam vet (risky in those days). Never mind humiliating and pissing off his editor – my brand-new boss. But my heart pounded with resentment. The guy’s pitch made me livid. The f-ing gall.

For six years I’d listened to Vietnam vets’ books being shot down as unsalable, the subject likened to cancer, and now this was going to be the book to break through? Blond white 101st paratrooper as heroic government snitch. What was wrong with this picture? The guy had no sashay, no swagger. Well scrubbed, wound tight. No peace sign on his helmet liner. Was I the only one not buying this story?

At the end, the author asked for questions. The staff was respectful and solicitous of the proper young veteran returned from the wars, only to risk himself again on the home front. Impulsively I raised my hand.

“The Airborne ranks were heavily black.”

“Yes,” he said, “somewhat.”

“What was the nickname of the 101st in Vietnam again?”

The memoirist looked uncomfortable. “The Screaming Eagles?” he said, the outfit’s well-known moniker inspired by the eagle’s head on the division’s emblem.

If I’d had any doubts, they were gone.

Sales reps a few seats away stared at my expression. “Isn’t that right,” one said quietly, “Screaming Eagles?”

I shook my head: “The 1st Afrika Corps.”

Afrika Corps — as in Rommel’s crack Aryan juggernaut of racially exclusive supermen in North Africa in WWII, outfighting and outwitting the allies for their racist Fatherland. GI humor, funny because it was dangerous: a slur and a backhanded salute all in one to the mostly black 101st.

Somebody got wise. The book slipped from the list a few days later, never to reappear.

Instead of Shaking My Hand

George Ruckman, Juris Jurjevics, Mo Moser [?] the late Glen Casperson

I recently came across  two interviews with the Dean of Faculty at the Virginia Military Institute, Dr. Alan Farrell, conducted by VMI student cadets for a course in Military History and Strategic Analysis. Dr. Farrell, a rare teacher by all accounts, taught at another southern college for 25 years before being lured to VMI. Before that he was in Special Forces, training and leading indigenous highland tribesmen against North Vietnamese soldiers sneaking across the Laotian border. And then writing poetry about it (Expended Casings).

Alan Farrell

You couldn’t find two people with more different backgrounds. Me, an immigrant kid from New York (with all that implies), a homeless refugee for the first 7 years of my life. Farrell from a rock-ribbed New Hampshire military family that fought in the Revolution.

And yet I was shocked to discover that we couldn’t agree more. About everything: from the terrible reality behind the mythologized battle in the Ia Drang that we’ve all seen being won on screen by Mel Gibson to the current occupation of Iraq. But most especially we agree that there needs to be an end to Congress’s draft dodging. Congress needs to face the issue of universal conscription if we are ever to cope with the “wars” we keep stumbling into. I never thought I’d find myself advocating for reinstatement of the draft, but here I am, standing with Sergeant Major Farrell.

“The trouble with the way America fights wars now,” says Farrell, ” is that the whole population doesn’t go . . .  We’re still letting a very narrow segment fight our war for us…if we’re talking about volunteers and a special sort of person who’s willing to suffer in the name of the Republic, whether he understands it or not – that means that you lose your best guys in that kind of warfare…I’m not in favor of war. I’m inclined to think, if we’ve got to have one, everybody goes – everybody. ”

This is not just coming from the older vets. Some months ago a young Marine sergeant back from four tours in Iraq writing anonymously, argued that “a government that wants an indefinite, badly managed war placed on a credit card without complete consent of its citizens could only do it with an all-volunteer military… As my senior drill instructor said the morning of graduation, ‘Ladies and Gents, it’s time to sac up and eat the shit sandwich.’ We are going to have to make hard decisions that will not look anything like the irresponsible, childish partisan bickering of the preceding three decades. We are going to have to do what Americans do best in crises: SACRIFICE AND COMPROMISE… An open and vigorous discussion of compulsory national service, for all classes…needs to be part of the way forward . . . As a young person who served in a war you made, I don’t want your handshake, your pity, your daughter’s phone number, or your faded bumper sticker. I did my frigging job, so now do yours.”

The young Marine’s essay was titled “You can go strangle yourself with that yellow ribbon, or, here is what I want you to do instead of shaking my hand.”

Amen to that.

Tiger Medicine

The local civilian militia (CIDG) claimed they’d just happened to hear something walk through their night ambush site. More likely the only thing they’d ever been planning to ambush was animal, not human. The giveaway was the condition of the hide: if they’d shot it by mistake, it would have been riddled with holes. Instead, the tiger had gone down with just one perfect shot. The pelt was valuable, but the real prize were the teeth and organs, destined for the local apothecary.

The pharmacist in the town market in Cheo Reo worked hard to impress townspeople with the potency of his remedies, prepared from organs and excretions of powerful creatures like the tiger, or the reptile curled up on top of the barrel. A bear’s head and hide are just out of sight. My personal favorite: a brew of rice wine mixed with bat’s blood that was supposed to combat tuberculosis.